But what else is new? It may or may not have something to do with the fact that I’m reading If I Stay by Gayle Forman which is transporting me into a whole new world every time I open it. Maybe it’s because I’ve worked my ass off non stop all weekend at a job that I have a love/hate relationship with. Maybe it’s the weird dreams I’ve been having or this unexplainable feeling that comes and goes. Maybe I’m feeling so overwhelmed at the fact that I’m in such a weird state of my life right now. At 20 (almost 21) years old, I feel like I should be partying my ass off one day and the next I want a full time job, a hubby and a kid.
I don’t know if these feelings are normal and if they are maybe I’ll be over it in a day, if I’m lucky. But I have a right to overthink these things. It is my life after all and I should be putting some thought into it. At the same time, I need to enjoy it more. I worked all weekend so tomorrow I need to relax and enjoy my day off. If a friend wants to hang out, I need to step up and go out. If I wanna sit here and do nothing then I should enjoy that too. As much as I have a right to question and be concerned about my future, I also need to live in the now. At least my brother and his FWB are here to distract me. Let me go enjoy their company before my thoughts take over again.
if there’s one thing i’ve learned about life so far, it’s that it just happens. you can plan all you want, but if something isn’t meant to be, it won’t be. if it’s meant to be, it will be.
i feel the need to address this, so here it goes.
as some of you know, i broke up with my long distance…